Stitch or Treat

I'm sure, by now, you've all knitted up your pumpkin hats or felted a pumpkin patch. I barely got to the store to buy the yucky bag of Bit O Honeys. I buy those because they are just about the only candy that I won't eat. (Neither will any of the kids who come to the door.) Sorry to say but I'm not a big Halloween fan. Mind you, I don't turn off all the lights in the house (hi, pop!) and I really do like seeing the little ones - but it's not a biggy for me.It is, however, a great excuse to sit by the door and KNIT - and isn't that what really matters??

Now, Here are my Top Ten Ways To Know You are Too Old to Trick or Treat10. You get winded from kno

10. You pass any house that requires climbing steps to the door.
9. You plan to hire somebody to chew the candy for you.
8. You are only looking for high fiber treats.
7. Instead of collecting for UNICEF, you're collecting for your IRA
6. People say, "Great Cruella Deville mask!" and you're not wearing one.
5. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..." and can't remember the rest.
4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.
3. People can't guess that you're the Lipitor Fairy.
2. You're the only Dora the Explorer in the neighborhood with a
walker.
1. You avoid going to houses where your ex-husbands live.

Happy Halloween!

Comments

[elizabeth]

"4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders. "

So good.

[Estella]

Love the Liptor Fairy!

[Cookie]

Is it over yet? /falls over

[Jennifer]

Those are too funny!

How about:

11) You think that loading your heart medication into your jack-o-lantern pez dispenser makes the day "festive."

[harriet]

Another hysterical 'winner'.
Bravo!

[Beth]

I love the list!!! I'm with you on the Halloween thing. I'd have to say it's my least favorite day of the year. But my husband and daughter love it, so I play along.