Knit and Plenty

Silent Knit.

Silent Knit. Holy Knit.

With my sticks, here I sit.

Precious fiber brings joy to my heart

Stitch by stitch, through God there is art.

Wonderous peace it brings me.

Wonderous peace within me.

Silent Knit. Holy Knit.

With my sticks, here I sit.

Precious fiber brings joy to my heart

Stitch by stitch, through God there is art.

Wonderous peace it brings me.

Wonderous peace within me.

The Knit Before Christmas

The Knit Before Christmas

I wrote the following parody of the classic Christmas poem a year or two ago. It was the start of a lot of creative things in my life.

Twas the Knit before Christmas and all over the room, unfinished projects were everywhere, strewn. The stockings weren't hung; they didn't have toes, and the wrap in my lap needed sixty more rows.

The children's new mittens would never been done. They looked more like wristwarmers sporting thumbs.

Dad's fisherman's knit had a large gaping hole. My sister's striped ski hat could fit a large bowl.

I forgot to put fringe on my mother's new shawl. And my husband's socks lay in a magic loop ball.  The backpack I felted would have to be sewn, since it shrunk in the wash and might fit my phone.

I started to panic, but then I decided, "I'll just give them cash, they'll all be delighted."

But then I remembered I had not a cent. I'd spent it on yarn, leaving not even rent.

Tears welled in my eyes as I put down my needle and curled on my side in a position quite fetal.

Then, out on the lawn, I heard such commotion that I ran with my scissors and dropped every notion.

Away to the window I flew in a flash, knocked over my basket and tripped on my stash. 

The moon on the snow gave me a start, caused it looked like a pompom that had fallen apart.

When what did I see that made me feel loco, but a little old man with a beard of Berroco.

He was dressed all in mohair, or maybe a blend, with a stockinette scarf that just wouldn't end.

His sweater was Fair Isle, he looked like a rogue. The pattern so detailed - it must be from Vogue.

He spoke not a word but went straight for a stocking. Then he grabbed for the purses that all needed blocking.

More rapid then Addi's the projects they came, and he whistled and shouted and called them by name.

Now Capelet - Now Afghan - Now Leggings - Now Rug. On Poncho, On Dickie, on Earmuffs - on Shrug.

To the top of a crewneck, he added a cowl. From a lightweight chenille, he knitted a towel.

I watched in amazement as he dropped and yarned-over to crank out a coat and some booties for Rover. 

From a fingerweight silk he knitted a glove. As he purled all around me, I thought it was love.

He fixed every stitch without one single rip. In the wink of an eye, there was nary a WIP.

I thanked him profusely. He kindly accepted. My last minute elf as hardly expected. 

As he started to leave, I grabbed for a skein. And he turned back around and he said, "You're insane." 

"But my projects are finished, you made them all better," I replied, with a wink, "I'll just start a sweater."

He ran from my sight, on his sleigh off he flew.

Now, Merry Christmas to All. I've got to knitting to do.

I wrote the following parody of the classic Christmas poem a year or two ago. It was the start of a lot of creative things in my life.

Twas the Knit before Christmas and all over the room, unfinished projects were everywhere, strewn. The stockings weren't hung; they didn't have toes, and the wrap in my lap needed sixty more rows.

The children's new mittens would never been done. They looked more like wristwarmers sporting thumbs.

Dad's fisherman's knit had a large gaping hole. My sister's striped ski hat could fit a large bowl.

I forgot to put fringe on my mother's new shawl. And my husband's socks lay in a magic loop ball.  The backpack I felted would have to be sewn, since it shrunk in the wash and might fit my phone.

I started to panic, but then I decided, "I'll just give them cash, they'll all be delighted."

But then I remembered I had not a cent. I'd spent it on yarn, leaving not even rent.

Tears welled in my eyes as I put down my needle and curled on my side in a position quite fetal.

Then, out on the lawn, I heard such commotion that I ran with my scissors and dropped every notion.

Away to the window I flew in a flash, knocked over my basket and tripped on my stash. 

The moon on the snow gave me a start, caused it looked like a pompom that had fallen apart.

When what did I see that made me feel loco, but a little old man with a beard of Berroco.

He was dressed all in mohair, or maybe a blend, with a stockinette scarf that just wouldn't end.

His sweater was Fair Isle, he looked like a rogue. The pattern so detailed - it must be from Vogue.

He spoke not a word but went straight for a stocking. Then he grabbed for the purses that all needed blocking.

More rapid then Addi's the projects they came, and he whistled and shouted and called them by name.

Now Capelet - Now Afghan - Now Leggings - Now Rug. On Poncho, On Dickie, on Earmuffs - on Shrug.

To the top of a crewneck, he added a cowl. From a lightweight chenille, he knitted a towel.

I watched in amazement as he dropped and yarned-over to crank out a coat and some booties for Rover. 

From a fingerweight silk he knitted a glove. As he purled all around me, I thought it was love.

He fixed every stitch without one single rip. In the wink of an eye, there was nary a WIP.

I thanked him profusely. He kindly accepted. My last minute elf as hardly expected. 

As he started to leave, I grabbed for a skein. And he turned back around and he said, "You're insane." 

"But my projects are finished, you made them all better," I replied, with a wink, "I'll just start a sweater."

He ran from my sight, on his sleigh off he flew.

Now, Merry Christmas to All. I've got to knitting to do.

GOD REST YE WEARY KNITTERS

My friend, Deb sent this to me last year!

God rest ye weary knitters Let nothing you dismay

Remember all your projects Be done by Christmas day.

From God our heavenly spirit A blessed Angel came.

She brought her wooden needles And luscious Cashmire skeins

We knitted and purled and left nary a one

They were underneath the tree

All wrapped in lovely colors

T’was wonderful to see

God rest ye weary knitters

And smile on Christmas Day

When bright faces wear your stitches

And you’ll feel proud to say

It’s made with love and angel’s yarn

And nights of tea and toil –

It brings tidings of comfort and joy

Comfort and joy, oh tidings of comfort and joy!

Cha - CHing!!

Those are cash registers - not bells ringing.

"Sleigh Bells Ring - are You Listening?"  Well, check out this Winter Wonderland tune. (Start those bells....)

1. Buying skeins at the Wool Fest

I just might make a new vest.

Or maybe a shawl, I'll just buy it all.

Spending all my money on more yarn.

2. Wait, I see some some Fiesta,

No, I don't want to rest, A

new batch of Lopi is waiting for me.

Spending all my money on more yarn.

Chorus: In the end , my husband will divorce me,

and I'll end up living on the street.

Maybe I should save some for the future

Until then buying yarns a treat!

3. Gonna start five new sweaters

It will make me feel better

Throw me a skein, I must be insane,

Spending all my money on more yarn!

"Sleigh Bells Ring - are You Listening?"  Well, check out this Winter Wonderland tune. (Start those bells....)

1. Buying skeins at the Wool Fest

I just might make a new vest.

Or maybe a shawl, I'll just buy it all.

Spending all my money on more yarn.

2. Wait, I see some some Fiesta,

No, I don't want to rest, A

new batch of Lopi is waiting for me.

Spending all my money on more yarn.

Chorus: In the end , my husband will divorce me,

and I'll end up living on the street.

Maybe I should save some for the future

Until then buying yarns a treat!

3. Gonna start five new sweaters

It will make me feel better

Throw me a skein, I must be insane,

Spending all my money on more yarn!

JOY TO THE WOOL!!!

Ok - this one is made to be sung really, really loud

1.

Joy to the wool

I made a hat.

It might just fit my head.

But now the problem’s not the size

My forehead's broken out in hives.

When will the itching end? When will the itching end??

Next time I will use a silk- acrylic blend!

2.

Joy to the wool!

I knit a glove

But I forgot the thumb

Instructions I could not abide -

I'll use them just to hitch a ride

The fingers are too tight. I must not be too bright.

Why doesn't anything I knit come out right?

3.

Joy to the wool!

It's clear to see

my knitting is a mess.

So I knit to please myself

and store the projects on a  shelf.

So why should I knit more? Buy yarn until I'm poor?

The joy of knitting's what I do the knitting for.

Ok - this one is made to be sung really, really loud

1.

Joy to the wool

I made a hat.

It might just fit my head.

But now the problem’s not the size

My forehead's broken out in hives.

When will the itching end? When will the itching end??

Next time I will use a silk- acrylic blend!

2.

Joy to the wool!

I knit a glove

But I forgot the thumb

Instructions I could not abide -

I'll use them just to hitch a ride

The fingers are too tight. I must not be too bright.

Why doesn't anything I knit come out right?

3.

Joy to the wool!

It's clear to see

my knitting is a mess.

So I knit to please myself

and store the projects on a  shelf.

So why should I knit more? Buy yarn until I'm poor?

The joy of knitting's what I do the knitting for.

Ode to the "other" Yarn Store

Sung to the tune of "It came upon a Midnight Clear"

1. I came upon a yarn store where

The owner is a witch

You would think she should be nice

But she is just a Bitch.

2.She makes me feel like I am dumb

When help is all I need.

It seems like she would much prefer

If I would simply plead.

3. I went there just the other day

To buy a Christmas gift

And once again, and I don't know why

I left there feeling mift.

3. And yet I keep returning there

I guess I’ll just take my licks

It’s obvious that I have no pride

To get my addictive yarn fix

Will you be???

I'll Be Done For Christmas

I'll be done for Christmas.

You can count on me.

Socks, hats, gloves

Fair Isled with love

In knit gift bags.  You'll see!

Christmas eve will find me

Sewing up the seams.

I'll be done for Christmas

If only in my dreams!

Santa Baby

Santa Baby!!

I happen to love Santa Baby - especially this version that Keana sent along ast year...

Santa Baby,
Just slip some cashmere under the tree
For me
I’ve Been an knitting fool
Santa Baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa baby, a skein or 2 of alpaca will do
Light blue
I'll wait up for you with needles in hand
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight

Think of all the knitting I will miss
Think of all the yarn sales I haven’t hit
Next year I will knit oh so good
If you'll check off my Christmas yarn list

Santa Baby, I really want some SoySilk yarn
knits like a charm
Been an knittin’ angel all year
Santa Baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa honey, one little thing I really do need
stix with speed
platinum ones will do
Santa Baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa cutie, and fill my stocking with some sock yarn
I’ll darn
Don’t forget circulars, dear
Santa cutie, and hurry down the chimney tonight

Come and trim my Christmas tree
With some knitted decorations from KPixie
I really would knit for you
Lets see if you would wear my naughty knits, too

Santa Baby, forgot to mention one little thing
Knit Kit
I don't mean from Joann Fabrics
Santa Baby, Knit & Plenty has em' for me
Hurry down the chimney tonight
Hurry...tonight

I happen to love Santa Baby - especially this version that Keana sent along ast year...

Santa Baby,
Just slip some cashmere under the tree
For me
I’ve Been an knitting fool
Santa Baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa baby, a skein or 2 of alpaca will do
Light blue
I'll wait up for you with needles in hand
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight

Think of all the knitting I will miss
Think of all the yarn sales I haven’t hit
Next year I will knit oh so good
If you'll check off my Christmas yarn list

Santa Baby, I really want some SoySilk yarn
knits like a charm
Been an knittin’ angel all year
Santa Baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa honey, one little thing I really do need
stix with speed
platinum ones will do
Santa Baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa cutie, and fill my stocking with some sock yarn
I’ll darn
Don’t forget circulars, dear
Santa cutie, and hurry down the chimney tonight

Come and trim my Christmas tree
With some knitted decorations from KPixie
I really would knit for you
Lets see if you would wear my naughty knits, too

Santa Baby, forgot to mention one little thing
Knit Kit
I don't mean from Joann Fabrics
Santa Baby, Knit & Plenty has em' for me
Hurry down the chimney tonight
Hurry...tonight

I know, I know...

You remember Rudolph, don't you? Well, meet...

Ann, The Compulsive Knitter.

Ann the compulsive knitter

Knit from early morn to night

She never stopped her clacking

Not to even take a bite.

All of her friends and family

Begged her just to drop her sticks

But she just kept on purling

Doing her yarn over tricks.

Then one crazy Christmas eve

Santa found her dead

Mile long scarves: her claim to fame:

Anna Recksic was her name.

Now if you heed this warning

You’ll put down your needles, too

And enjoy Christmas dinner

And a quart of egg nog, too!!

Dream On

Get ready to do your best Bing Crosby croon to this great version of I'm Dreaming of a No Knit Christmas by Amy

I’m dreaming of a no-knit Christmas

Just like the ones I used to know

Where the needles glimmer

And dreams all shimmer

With knits for me and me alone

I’m dreaming of a no-knit Christmas

Not a single gift to stitch

No scarf for Gramma

No socks for Grampa

And no carpal tunnel for me

I’m dreaming of a no-knit Christmas

Imagine knitting just for fun

Knitting by the fire

Slow as I desire

Not feeling under the gun

I’m dreaming of a no-knit Christmas

And I’ll share my dream with you

May your Christmas be work-free, no rue

And may someone knit something for you!!!

Get ready to do your best Bing Crosby croon to this great version of I'm Dreaming of a No Knit Christmas by Amy

I’m dreaming of a no-knit Christmas

Just like the ones I used to know

Where the needles glimmer

And dreams all shimmer

With knits for me and me alone

I’m dreaming of a no-knit Christmas

Not a single gift to stitch

No scarf for Gramma

No socks for Grampa

And no carpal tunnel for me

I’m dreaming of a no-knit Christmas

Imagine knitting just for fun

Knitting by the fire

Slow as I desire

Not feeling under the gun

I’m dreaming of a no-knit Christmas

And I’ll share my dream with you

May your Christmas be work-free, no rue

And may someone knit something for you!!!