Knit and Plenty

I Saw Mommy, The Adult Version

I Saw Mommy

I saw Mommy knitting Santa Claus
a brand new Fair Isle cardigan last night.
She didn't even think that my dad would make a stink
Since he's always either working or buried in a drink. 

Then, I saw Mommy knitting Santa Claus
something that looked like a tiny hat;
Now, what a laugh it would have been
If Daddy had only seen
Mommy knitting Santa's "cap" last night".

Stay tuned next week for more holiday hits....

It's Beginning to Look alot Like XMAS

Here's a tune that was sung by Johnny Mathis.

It's Beginning to Knit a Lot Like Xmas

It's beginning to knit a lot like Christmas 

Ev'rywhere I go; 

Take a look in the den and then, the pile of WIPs 

And when - the hell am I ever going to SLEEP.

It's beginning to knit a lot like Christmas, 

Projects in ev'ry room, 

But the ugliest sight to see is the nightmare that will be 

The new Christmas throw that’s going to be my doom. 

A scarf with fringe - and a pair of socks 

Are  the wishes of mom and dad; 

Rich woolen hats to ski Zermatt

Are the hopes of Bunny and Chad; 

Luckily, Uncle Tim has brought the rum

 to the Egg Nog that he’ll add.

It's beginning to knit a lot like Christmas; 

But when the day is through

They’ll be barely out the door and I’ll be

casting on some more

Stuff that's just for me!!

Have Yoursef a Very Knitted Christmas

A Very IRS Christmas

Ok - we all have a little yarn buying problem right? So, here's a little Christman tune I penned called:

Have Yourself A Very Knitted Christmas

Have yourself a very knitted Christmas.
Let your scarves be bright
From now on your AMEX

Should be out of sight.

Have yourself a very knitted Christmas,
Manos, Noro, Bliss.

Tell them all

You only want more yarn for gifts.

There you are on the Internet,
with your credit card in hand,
Buying yarn is equivalent

To the desert needing sand.

Through the years
your stash will keep on growing
and you’ll never stop -
Tell the IRS
you own your own yarn shop!
And have yourself
A very knitted Christmas now.

Ok - we all have a little yarn buying problem right? So, here's a little Christman tune I penned called:

Have Yourself A Very Knitted Christmas

Have yourself a very knitted Christmas.
Let your scarves be bright
From now on your AMEX

Should be out of sight.

Have yourself a very knitted Christmas,
Manos, Noro, Bliss.

Tell them all

You only want more yarn for gifts.

There you are on the Internet,
with your credit card in hand,
Buying yarn is equivalent

To the desert needing sand.

Through the years
your stash will keep on growing
and you’ll never stop -
Tell the IRS
you own your own yarn shop!
And have yourself
A very knitted Christmas now.

Sockin' Around the Christmas Tree

Last year at this time I had finished my very first pair of socks. Now, I wear them almost nightly and think "How the hell did I ever do THAT???"

So, here's that holiday favorite:

Sockin' Around The Christmas Tree.

Sockin' around the Christmas tree
I've got one pair half way done.
I should have stuck with hats and scarves.
I am just NOT having fun.

Sockin' around the Christmas tree,
Better have some more caffeine.
Maybe a Jolt and Mountain Dew.
I'm about to cause a scene.

Sockin' around the Christmas tree,
As I'm racing toward the toe
Never will I make socks again.

Or to therapy I'll go!

Holiday Season - Year End Wrap Up

Hello again - although I haven't posted anything in a very long time, many knitters still find my blog through search engines looking for free patterns, and such - so I figured before I close it down, at the end of this year - I thought I'd repost last December's 24 Days of Holiday Knitmas Carols. I had a lot of fun writing these last year, and some friend were nice enough to send their tunes along, as well. I hope if you happen to come by this year - you will lift up your voice and sing along one more time.

Today's number is called We Three Skeins.

We Three Skeins of Debbie Bliss are.

Costs as much as buying a car.

Cashmerino for bambino.

I started on my scarf.

OOhhhh. OOOhhhhh.

Scarf of wonder. Scarf so light.

Scarf that keeps me up all night.

Finished 3 feet. Now to repeat.

You'll find me in the bar.

Silent Knit.

Silent Knit. Holy Knit.

With my sticks, here I sit.

Precious fiber brings joy to my heart

Stitch by stitch, through God there is art.

Wonderous peace it brings me.

Wonderous peace within me.

Well - that concludes the 24+ days of Holiday Knitmas Tunes. It was fun.

Wishing you a joyous holiday. See you next year.

The Knit Before Christmas

I wrote the following parody of the classic Christmas poem - and have since found out that there are several versions of similar knitting versions floating around the Internet. There is actually a version of this poem for almost every hobby, state and sport. So, here's my original version to add to the Knitosphere:

Twas the Knit before Christmas and all over the room, unfinished projects were everywhere, strewn. The stockings weren't hung; they didn't have toes, and the wrap in my lap needed sixty more rows.

The children's new mittens would never been done. They looked more like wristwarmers sporting thumbs.

Dad's fisherman's knit had a large gaping hole. My sister's striped ski hat could fit a large bowl.

I forgot to put fringe on my mother's new shawl. And my husband's socks lay in a magic loop ball.  The backpack I felted would have to be sewn, since it shrunk in the wash and might fit my phone.

I started to panic, but then I decided, "I'll just give them cash, they'll all be delighted."

But then I remembered I had not a cent. I'd spent it on yarn, leaving not even rent.

Tears welled in my eyes as I put down my needle and curled on my side in a position quite fetal.

Then, out on the lawn, I heard such commotion that I ran with my scissors and dropped every notion.

Away to the window I flew in a flash, knocked over my basket and tripped on my stash. 

The moon on the snow gave me a start, caused it looked like a pompom that had fallen apart.

When what did I see that made me feel loco, but a little old man with a beard of Berroco.

He was dressed all in mohair, or maybe a blend, with a stockinette scarf that just wouldn't end.

His sweater was Fair Isle, he looked like a rogue. The pattern so detailed - it must be from Vogue.

He spoke not a word but went straight for a stocking. Then he grabbed for the purses that all needed blocking.

More rapid then Addi's the projects they came, and he whistled and shouted and called them by name.

Now Capelet - Now Afghan - Now Leggings - Now Rug. On Poncho, On Dickie, on Earmuffs - on Shrug.

To the top of a crewneck, he added a cowl. From a lightweight chenille, he knitted a towel.

I watched in amazement as he dropped and yarned-over to crank out a coat and some booties for Rover. 

From a fingerweight silk he knitted a glove. As he purled all around me, I thought it was love.

He fixed every stitch without one single rip. In the wink of an eye, there was nary a WIP.

I thanked him profusely. He kindly accepted. My last minute elf as hardly expected. 

As he started to leave, I grabbed for a skein. And he turned back around and he said, "You're insane." 

"But my projects are finished, you made them all better," I replied, with a wink, "I'll just start a sweater."

He ran from my sight, on his sleigh off he flew.

Now, Merry Christmas to All. I've got to knitting to do.

Just to wrap things up with a nice Christmas bow, I'll be posting one more - one minute after Midnight - this Christmas morning.

Hark the Handspun

Hark the HandSpun, Alpaca, Tweed,

Glory to my Fiber Need.

Rich Angora makes me swoon

Namaste Needles, Lantern Moon.

Making purses by the dozens

For my sisters, aunts and cousins

Then I'll keep them all for me,

Glory to my Fiber Need.

Let the Knitter Reign

Jenn from KnitnLit sent this version of Joy to The World. Let's hope we're all winding down on our holiday projects!

Joy to the World

The Knits are Done

Let hands receive their rest

Let everyone enjoy their gifts

And let the knitter rest

And let the knitter rest

And let - And let The knitter rest

Joy to the World

The knitter reigns

Let gifts her love declare.

While knits and purls,  sticks and string,

Repeat the sounding joy

repeat the sounding joy

repeat -repeat - the sounding joy.

She rules the world

with sticks and string

And makes the family prove

The glories of the sockiness

and scarves around the necks

and scarves around the necks

and scarves - and scarves

around the necks.< THERE ARE TWO MORE DAYS AND TWO MORE SONGS TO COMPLETE OUR 24 DAYS of KNITMAS Tunes - then we'll be all done for the year! Drop by this crazy weekend.

Those are cash registers - not bells ringing.

"Sleigh Bells Ring - are You Listening?"  Well, check out this Winter Wonderland tune. (Start those bells....)

1. Buying skeins at the Wool Fest

I just might make a new vest.

Or maybe a shawl, I'll just buy it all.

Spending all my money on more yarn.

2. Wait, I see some some Fiesta,

No, I don't want to rest, A

new batch of Lopi is waiting for me.

Spending all my money on more yarn.

Chorus: In the end , my husband will divorce me,

and I'll end up living on the street.

Maybe I should save some for the future

Until then buying yarns a treat!

3. Gonna start five new sweaters

It will make me feel better

Throw me a skein, I must be insane,

Spending all my money on more yarn!